Diamonds in the Rough...

I would first like to openly admit to epically failing at titling blogs.
Simply put, I don't have the gift of giving things titles. Sorry...but anyways, I called this blog "Diamonds in the Rough" for a reason. You know how every once in awhile there will be something sweet/funny/memorable that happens and you think and/or verbalize that "That just made my day." Yupp, those are diamonds. Life is rough. Actually, my life's not. Don't get me wrong, it's no picnic. It could, however, be a lot rougher. But in comparison to the diamonds in life, sure...okay fine, it just fit with the title.

This certainly is becoming more ADD and random than I had planned, but whatever.

Ahem, so when something happens that makes your day, you wanna remember it, right? I know I do. So whenever I remember, I am going to post a "Diamonds" blog to tell you what made my day. That way I can A) Brighten your day and B) Encourage you to brighten someone else's by blogging yours and C) Be able to look back on all these diamonds and smile.

I'm ready!

Xoxo.

Jordan

Whoa!

Life is going by so fast. I thought I would maybe be a mom when I realized this, but no. I've pretty much decided I want to stay a sophomore forever. My friends and I already talk about how sad graduation will be. Oh, my gosh. I am not sure I can handle it all...the change, the growing up...sigh. Okay. Well, I promised I would fill you in on recent events in my life, so here goes.

CONCERT!- Last week, Sarah's mommy took Sarah, myself, Courtney, Andrew, Ronni, and Sarah's friend Beth to the Blink 182 and Asher Roth concert. It. Was. Amazing. Haha, and I learned what pot smells like...my hoodie carried the scent for a while. Or, for a few days until my mom washed it, haha. I was slightly disappointed because the concert was supposed to be Blink, Fall Out Boy, and All-American Rejects. I knew some of their songs, haha, so it's a slight disappointment that it turned out to be Asher...it was fun, but oh gosh, he is a foul-mouthed artist. I'm pretty sure Sarah's mom's eyes were as big as saucers. Yupp, at least. Oh, and it was oh so much fun watching Andrew spazz out for Blink, apparently he's been a fan since age four? So I'm pretty sure he shed a few tears. It was great. We didn't get home until about two in the morning on Thursday, and had to be at school at eight. So, that was painful, but it was worth it. I think everyone except me was on some sort of hangover the next day, ha. To be honest, it never hit me. The exhaustion and whatnot, but it was an amazing time.

Thursday!- Yeah, so the concert was Wednesday night, we dragged through school and our Gulliver's presentations in English on Thursday, and then I went to the @nchor Community Church kid's practice...Blake and I have been doing an 8-week skit series about a brother and sister stuck on an island. It was week 8, and I was so hoping we might skip that week, but noo. Haha. Oh, dude, I totally forgot. After school, Sarah, Ronni, Leah, Andrew, Blake and I decided to go to Courtney's volleyball game. In one car. On a whim. Haha, that was fun. It ended up being at the old First Baptist of Locust Grove, which is attached to the @nchor! So Blake went home, and I just stayed and watched the game then walked over to practice. At that point, all of us were beginning to show small signs of hysteria and exhaustion...Sarah was moody and yelling at people, Courtney was totally angry, and I was peeking behind trees, haha. It was pretty awesome. I left them and went to practice and tried to explain my hysteria to Denise and Melissa pretty unsuccessfully. I am sure I entertained them, at the least.

FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBAL && SLEEPOVER!- I had all these plans to get this schoolwork done after getting a peaceful sleep Thursday night...not so much? I had to clean my room so that the woman that gave us the cat could come visit? Yeah, don't ask...but anyways, I spent most of the day cleaning and then...and THEN she decided not to come. Haha, lovely. So after that I got all my stuff packed and headed to NCCA's home football game. There, I found Wonni and Sawwah, put my dress and junk up and went to the gamee! I wonder if anyone actually watches the game? Haha, in the words of Monroe (my football playing buddy) "How was talking? Cuz I know you weren't actually watching the game?" Can't lie...haha.

After the game, Sarah, Ronni, Hailey, Megan, Courtney and me went to Anthony's pizza with Court's parents and little brother for some fooood! We then dropped Meggie off and went to sleep (or haha, not) at Cwizz's. Actually, we decided to wear black and fork our buddy Garrett's house. Good times :)) We epically fail at that though...well, the toilet paper part. That was not easy...we just did his trees because we heard a barking dog near his actual house. As for the forks, we made a picket fence of forks around his mailbox. Then we creeped away. At Cwizz, all 5 of us tried for a very long period of time to take a picture of us while lying on Cwizz's full sized bed. Haha, we got one. Courtney's mom ended up taking it, but whateverr! Hailey has it on FB.

That night was amazing. Our sleepovers always rock faces off. We role-played and listened to Sarah's made-up stories. I hid in a closet and had special time with Cwizz. We got revenge on Hailey's ex. Ronni and I practiced slow dancing for homecoming. Haha, I loveee us.

The next morning, Saturday, Cwizz left us to go to her little cousin's birthday. We all tried to figure out her oven. It took awhile, but we finally got it! Bagel Bites ended up being the only things we consumed all day. None of us realized that until about 11:00 that night. When Cwizz got back, we went and picked up Meggie and got pedicures! After, we went back to Cwizz's and got ready for four hours. I know that sounds like a lot, but I mean, it was SIX teenage girls getting ready for a dance. Sarah did hair and makeup for most of us, mainly because she is awesome at it! At about 6, our parentals started showing up to take millions of pictures outside of the Kilgore's beautiful house. As soon as our cheeks were sore, we set off in two carloads. For the first time in forever, all of us girls were actually not crammed into one vehicle! Yay!

The homecoming dance was held at a place called Pinehurst Manor in Stockbridge. It was this pretty remodeled home. I think it's a restaurant now also. The place was beautiful, but really small for a dance. The dance itself was great. So much fun, everyone let loose and went crazy. I love it when that happens! :)) Overall, it was an incredible night and an amazing weekend. After the dance, a bunch of us went to Huddle House and were honestly too tired to make a life-changing event out of it. Finally we separated and went to our separate homes.

We made so many memories. I think I wanna stay a sophomore forever.

First Quarter?!

Are you sure it's almost time for our first report cards at NCCA?
Because I'm pretty sure it has not almost been nine weeks.
Oh my gosh.
I swear, life is going by way too fast! What have I been up to? Freakishly social. I have several events coming up soon! Wanna hear? Actually, it doesn't really matter if you want to or not, lol, you are reading my blog and I'm going to tell you!
Oh, I just got into the National Honor Society at school...I don't think it's that big of a deal, because NCCA is such a small school, but the application was tedious, so I guess I'm excited?
Uh, PSAT October 14.
Blink 182 concert w/All-American Rejects and Fall Out Boy October 7. Sarah's mom is taking Sarah, Courtney, Ronni, Andrew, Bethani, and I!
Homecoming Game && Dance!
I'll let you know how everything goes :))
Love,
Jordan

Learning to Fall

I know how to catch.
When I say this, I don't mean like, a baseball, or football, or whatever. Oh, no. I mean emotionally, in relationships. I'm the catcher. The one that hides her feelings for the sake of whoever seems to need the most help. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to sound amazing, because I'm not, but I'm just trying to tell you how it is with me.
My biggest issue is that I don't know how to fall. I can't just fall in someone's arms when that's really all I need. I don't let myself be comforted, simply because I'm scared of letting people see my weaknesses.
Gahh, overall, I have learned so much about myself recently. Like that it's okay to fall. The people you've helped get back up are willing, and want to catch you. It's scary, but you gotta let go or else it will never happen. Say what you mean; mean what you say. I mean that whole heartedly. If you think no one cares, you're wrong. For me, more people than I ever thought actually cared when I finally displayed I'm not happy-go-lucky all of the time. They mean the most.

"Fall...go on and fall apart...go on and fall into these arms of mine, I'll catch you every time you fall."

Xoxo.
Jordan

Need a Hug? No.

Haha, the title of this blog makes me laugh.
I've always considered myself a considerably affectionate person.
LIE!
This week, I realized I am typically happy no matter what. But when I get down, I get really down. Sometimes for no good reason. Like this Tuesday, for instance. There was nothing really wrong with me. My life was going a-okay. I mean, I hate my Drama teacher, but that's about it. I had gotten 7 hours of sleep in comparison to my usual 5. So there was no reason that I would be pissed at the world, right?
For some reason, I was, horribly so. Since I'm usually so chill and happy, everyone was freaked out by my bad mood and pretty much it was contagious. My friends were no happy campers either. Lunch was rough, lol. But my one bright sunshine came in my day from my BFF Monroe :)
Like I said, I'm pretty affectionate. But that day, everyone kept wanting to hug me and I was not feeling it. He followed me to math and asked me what was wrong. I uneccesarily slammed my bag on the table.

"NOTHING!" I snapped.

He paused. "Do you need a hug?"

I glared. "NO!"

He tried to convince me to smile. No deal, so he left me and my anger to myself.
After math he had been playing football, and might I add, was disgustingly sweaty. Monroe saw I was still not happy and came over to me.

"You need love. Don't fight it, Jordan, this is love."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I spazzed out. "Get off! You're gross!"

Later that night, I felt really bad. He had been trying to be so sweet, (rare for him :) and I had been so mean. So I texted him. "Thanks." His response? "For what?" Smiling, I typed "For being nice to me when I didn't deserve it. He called me immediately.

"Why would you say that?"

"Why would I say what?"

"Why would you say you didn't deserve me being nice to you?

"Because I was mean to you all day and there was no reason. You were sweet and I was mean. Duh."

"Why would you ever think you wouldn't deserve me being nice to you? You're my best friend, therefore, you ALWAYS deserve it."

Moments like this are what keeps me going.

Lovesick...

Don't freak, I'm not in love.
At least, I don't think...
But that's a whole different story.
Anyhow, my blog is titled "Lovesick" because I am literally sick of love.
Not because I've experienced real, true, precious love.
Oh, no.
Because I'm sick of being the best friend to the one who always falls in love. Alwaysalwaysalways.
Never the one that falls in love. Never the one who gets fallen in love with.
Yeah, yeah. I know what you are thinking.
"You are fifteen years old. You don't know what love is."
Lie.
Okay, maybe you don't think I do. But I can guarantee you I have a grasp on the concept, at least.
I'm not necessarily complaining.
Okay, I am.
But regardless, this is why:
-I have, my whole life, been the advocate, helper, assistant, sidekick, matchmaker, etc. for pretty much all of my close friends when they have fallen for someone.
-Heck, some friends that even aren't that close.
-Guys I'm friends with always fall for my friends.
-Gahh!
-It gets frustrating that sometimes I feel it's all about how you look. I mean, sometimes I wonder if I looked a lot different, would it be different?
-If it was based on who you are, would teenage love life be a little different?

Don't get me wrong, I know my prince will come. But I'm getting tired of waiting. I know it can take many more years. I hope it doesn't, but honestly I just want to learn that true love exists, and it can happen to me. Does that make sense? I'm sorry you had to deal with me being frustrated, but I don't get like this often. When I do, it's not pretty. Thanks for letting me vent.
-Jordan

Summer...condensed, in a more condensed way.

Does that even make sense?
Oh, well.
Haha. So where did my last summer blog leave off? Camp, Amber, hmm...pretty much, I was rarely home. I had the best time ever with all of my amazing friends. They make me who I am :) We went to Grandaddy's beach house in St. Mary's, GA for four days. I brought my friend Gabrielle, and Blake brought his friend Steven. It was a blast! What else? Um, I spent a WHOLE lotta time with my freshman girls, Sarah, Courtney, and Ronni. Overall, that's pretty much it. I think. I'll fill you in more if I think of anything else? But I feel like I had to finish up SOMETHING about my two months out of school, or else there would be a hole in my heart forever, and thaaat would suck. Okay, so I'm being a little over dramatic. But from me, what else do you expect?
Jordan